gul said to try something new, so i've been doing yoga when hes at work i get into a meditive state when i do it but my mind every now and then wants to wander back to my clouded state of being. it wonders why i can't hold a stable job anymore.
gul came home early and saw me doing yoga. i guess i was being perceived? it felt good with his eyes on me. hnkjhkknkjn im weird, then again he enjoyed it too??? hhhhh
I FEEL LIKE A being of light!!! im finally there !!! it was within me this whole time!
back again. what does a self righteous suicide feel like.
yoga again this afternoon like usual. my mind wandered again but this time it felt something was off. sadie started to bark as well. i got up from my position and i realized i needed to stop getting so distracted
today was a saturday and gul has today off. we did partner yoga and i forgot how HEAVY he is. but it felt good to have that pressure when we were doing certain positions. also i forgot how flexible he is. our last pose involved us "centering". cross legged in front of each other, and holding each others knees. it was intimate but i felt myself getting distracted even with gul staring straight at me. this time my mind contiuned to wander but it was.. electric?? i think our minds met in some invisible field. we both closed our eyes and gul stopped talking and we sort of slowly fell in tune. it was that being of light feeling i had on tuesday. i think we even put our heads together at one point.
the pressure on my head felt good. fuck he feels good.
after that we got up and fell asleep in bed. we must of been asleep for a while cause its now 8